it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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