I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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