I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
