I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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