so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
