Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize