If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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