you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
