So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
