i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
