i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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