Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
