As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
