dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
