i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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