to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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