He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
