If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
