were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
