Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
