The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
