I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
