she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
