And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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