You're so nebulous sometimes
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
