i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
