Betty ford says i'm here all night
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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