i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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