Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
