I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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