You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
