how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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