The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
