Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
