and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize