Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
