Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
