aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
