I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
