Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
