There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
the condom got lost in my hair
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
