Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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