I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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