he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
