OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
