Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
