Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
