New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
