I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
