I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
two words: eviction party
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
they're like a gay fantastic four
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
