Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
