The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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