Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
