My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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