cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize