Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize