I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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