I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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