Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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