This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
