My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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