I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
