I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
